Oh the holidays… a time of connection, gatherings, joy, and abundance. Also a time where we see people we have been avoiding all year, we spend all our money to buy impressing gifts that- let’s face it - our family doesn’t need, and we have to either host a bunch of people in our homes or travel long distances through the winter weather to see our loved ones. The reward can be high, but damn do you have to work for it. Helllooooooo pressure!!
While the hustle and bustle is real, it doesn’t have to be as overwhelming as it sounds. You don’t need to completely lose your mind during these next couple months.
Ways to stay sane…
One- Drop the expectation that everything needs to be perfect 🍁
No family is perfect, no gathering is perfect, and no gift is perfect. Flaws are expected during this time and should be part of the plan. Adjusting our mindset to the idea that things might just go awry is gonna save you a ton of stress. Plan for this. Set yourself up for the mishaps by scheduling some self-care throughout the hustle and bustle.
Also please forgive yourself. I know you want to keep up with the ideal body image you have for yourself, but allow yourself a break from the internal judgement. You will eat today, probably one more slice of pie than you normally allow, and ya know what? It’s okay! Allow yourself to enjoy the food and the dessert, and keep the negative self-talk to a minimum if possible. It will be there waiting for you again tomorrow if you miss it that much. Have a meeting with a close friend who makes you feel good, or a therapy appointment lined up as part of your de-stressing from the holiday craziness.
Two- Stick to your routine as much as possible 🍁
Part of why the holidays can be so uprooting is because we are literally abandoning our routine. The fact that you aren’t going to work may feel like a plus, but it may also mean your morning routine that grounds you also goes out the window. If you need movement to start your day, keep that as a plan for the mornings despite where you are. For workout classes Youtube is your friend! Also it may be a great way to check out new or old surroundings by taking a long morning walk. Additionally, if you know you need specific nutrients in the mornings to feel your best, prepare to have them with you or communicate to your hosts that you need almond milk for your coffee if that’s your jam. And don’t forget your vitamins!
Three: Quiet time/Alone time 🍁
Quiet time/alone time is sooooooo important during the holidays. It can be so overwhelming to talk all day and to cater to other’s needs. Make sure you give yourself breaks frequently. Take time outs during the gatherings for air. Going for short walks, finding a quiet room in the house, or offering to run the errands to get more whip cream can offer a bit of well needed reprieve from the chatter. Where you choose to stay during your travels also can really help to set you up for success. If you know your family’s house is overran with kids, or that most family members are staying at a certain place, perhaps choosing a sleepy hotel in town will give you the space to get some down time before and after the big event (just make sure to get a ride to and from if you plan to indulge in the wine -which also can be helpful in staying sane). If you are hosting, have a space in your house that is yours and only yours- and use it! It’s okay to take some time for yourself, and its completely okay to ask for what you need!
Four: Connect with nature 🍁
Going for a hike/walk outside can be the thing that saves you in these events. Being outdoors has a way of calming our mind and literally reducing the production of stress hormones. Allow yourself some space to be present with the colors of the trees. Breathe in the cool fresh air and notice if there are any scents outside in your environment. Let your eyes rest on something you like. Notice everything about it and take a second to notice how connecting with this visually impacts your body. Be present with any sounds around you: birds chirping, rustling leaves, the crunch of snow. And notice anything you can feel like the warmth of your coat, the grounding force of your feet on the earth, the breeze on your skin. All this connecting will bring you back to the present moment and melt some stress away. Even just a quick five minutes outside will help to ground you. Check in with yourself as you take these precious moments.
Another way to connect with nature during an event is to spend some time with animals! The one guest there that will definitely not be judging your choice in partner or career is the dog scavenging for food under the table. Pets can offer a perfect social distraction and can ease anxiety and increase positive feelings just through petting them. Give the pup some love and see how it impacts your mood.
Five: Be present 🍁
Remember the reason you are there and connect with that intention. Its so easy to be sidetracked during family events thinking about what’s coming next, what needs to still be done, and how to put out any fires from the mishaps of the day. There really is so much to do that sometimes it can feel like a complete blur and before you know it you have missed the whole day and are just exhausted. Set intentions at the beginning of the day that help to keep you connected and in the present moment. Take time to slow down. Take deep breaths frequently. Take a look around the room and notice the things you appreciate about everyone there, Yes- even your annoying cousin. Check in with your body and let it tell you what it needs. Are you hungry, are you too full, thirsty, anxious, tense, happy? These frequent check ins allow you to give yourself what you need to be in the moment and enjoying the day.
Also do yourself and everyone else a favor and don’t get blasted to get through the awkward moments. As an introvert, I understand the power of liquid courage at events and gatherings, but there is a balance you can find where you can still be present and also enjoy a little holiday cheer. Try having a glass of water with each beer/wine/drink you have to give yourself more time to check in and know what you need. Otherwise have fun!!
Be forgiving of yourself throughout this holiday season and allow your instincts to guide you through the day. Learn to listen to yourself and allow yourself a little self-love and a little acceptance from the love of others. Remember no one is perfect, and thank goodness for that- how boring would life be if it all went according to plan. Also remember that accepting help is okay, and remember you have a plan for the mishaps! Allow yourself some grace and for goodness sake have some fun!
Happy holidays friends! Wishing you sanity, presence, peace, and joy this holiday season!